Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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