We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just pee around me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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