; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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