I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
