FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize