you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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