Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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