Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
