I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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