The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
