Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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