Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
