Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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