One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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