Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i need some magic done to my vagina
you made out with another girl for some wings
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
