I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
