I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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