fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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