Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
