even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize