Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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