Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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