hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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