I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
