I wannas sexs uuuuu
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
