absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
