oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
