So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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