pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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