I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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