I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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