After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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