i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
