peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize