I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
