My friends, they love my intelligence
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
