Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
