i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
