He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Drake has all the answers
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
