Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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