Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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