Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
