You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
