that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she peed on how many people?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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