whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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