it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
