She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize