Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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