Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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