I CAN MOONWALK!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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