Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
