i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
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I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
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He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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