Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
