i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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