Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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