That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
