I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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