Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
